I can clearly see Senior Sons gifts and talents far better than he can and of course I could “guide” him in the direction he should go. However, finding the balance between control, letting go, compassion, leaning in, loving on and any other way you may describe this emotional roller coaster of watching your child grow up is proving tough for me. It’s bitter sweet seeing all the ridiculous potential in my Senior Son yet somehow being the only one who wants something more for him. I’ve been told that codependency is when you want something more for someone than they actually want for themselves. Where there’s a lopsided pursuit of whatever. I guess I’m codependent then, however, I continue to seek balance to what is on my side of the fence and allowing the space for Senior Son to figure out on his own what he’s willing to pursue. Somewhere along the way I have to trust my God and know that I’m not a savior (as much as I want to be), he is 18, and God is in fact in control.
AHHHHH….the adventure continues.