On the way to his first baseball game of his last season, I’m thinking about all the years of driving to practices and ball games and tournaments and all the fun that we had for so many years. However, I’m realizing once again these transitions are difficult. Unexpected tears flow down my face all the while knowing that I did the best I could. Part of me wants to be super excited as I go to the park and cheer him on and another part feels torn in half.
We played baseball in Alabama, North Carolina and Virginia and all three had incredible teams. Although I must say the league we played in North Carolina called Stewards of the Game was by far my favorite! It provided the greatest, most valuable and impactful experiences not just from player to player but also from parent to parent. It’s the team that we traveled with to Cooperstown when the boys were in fifth grade and it was absolutely an exceptional experience. We went to the State Tournament with this team, and we traveled all over town, stayed up til 2am finishing games and truly bonded as an entire team. Some of my favorite memories were during those years playing with Stewards! Most of all I’m grateful for the bonds made and lessons learned!
Altogether I think we’ve totaled 15 years of ball. Every single spring and most fall seasons, and many year round leagues. this 15 years has flown by and I’ve decided that I don’t do closure very well even when I need closure. I’m pretty sure this type of closure is not one that I can embrace very easily. This season of letting go and transitioning from mom with son around all the time to mom who lets son truly blossom on his own, basically sucks right now. Yet, I will do my best to be selfless and love him the best I know how every single day and let go more and more whether I want to or not…it’s in his best interest…not mine and that’s all that really matters.
Phillipians 4:13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.